God’s Heart Aches
On a Monday night, in early October, my 6-year-old daughter hurt her arm while playing in the backyard with her older sister. It was clearly broken - "floppy" was the word that came to mind when I looked at it.
I rushed her to urgent care, where they did x-rays, which was a traumatic experience for both of us. After the x-rays were completed, we were told that the Emergency Room would be required. They needed to set the bone back into its proper position.
After a lot of waiting and preparation at the ER, the time came for her to be sedated. Just before they pushed the milky white solution into her IV, they warned us that it would burn. Fear struck my heart, but I reassured her that I'd be right there the whole time. As the solution entered her body, her face turned red, tears poured from her eyes, and she reached out for me, crying, "Mama! Mama!" My mom-heart had never felt quite so heavy. There was nothing I could do to eliminate that pain. Even though I knew that the pain she was experiencing now was necessary for her healing, it was heart-wrenching to watch her suffer.
After getting home and tucking her into bed that night, I was finally able to process all that had just happened. And as my tears flowed, I was reminded of a sermon I had heard years ago, about a dad in a similar situation with his daughter, having to hold her down as doctors helped her with an injury. In that sermon he made the connection that God has purpose for our trials - they are for our ultimate good.
When I first heard his story, I had pictured God being a little bit removed, almost cold, as He orchestrated our trials, knowing they were necessary for us. Now having experienced a similar situation to that dad, something else stood out to me; God's heart is heavy for His people as they experience trials. He is not spiteful or far-off. He instead is near to us. His heart aches with us, even when He knows it will lead to our ultimate good.
The following verse came to my mind that night as I reflected on God's nearness and soft-heartedness:
"For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men." - Lamentations 3:31-33
God does not afflict us or grieve us from His heart. In other words, He does not ordain our suffering, trials, or pain in such a way as to be removed from their effects on us. He is near to us in our grief. He feels our sorrows, and He has compassion on us. How great is His steadfast love for us! How wonderful to be reminded of His presence and His care!
Recently, in our sermon series through the book of Exodus, we have seen that there is purpose in our pain. As God led His people in the wilderness for 40 years, they experienced discomfort and sorrow. God provided their daily bread, but they grew tired of manna. Through these trials, God was shaping them, molding their hearts to know that He is a provider and teaching them to rely on Him alone.
I pray that we, as a community, would hold onto the truth about purpose in our pain. This truth can be a comfort for us in hard times. Though, I also pray that we hold onto the truth that God is near to us in our pain. He is a comfort. In knowing there's a purpose, in knowing this pain is for our ultimate good, may we also know that God is right beside us and His heart is soft toward us.
So, like my daughter cried out to me in her pain that night at the ER, may we also cry out to God, Our Father. She knew I was there and she knew my love for her. May we know and believe in God's presence and great love for us too. May His presence and steadfast love be a comfort to us all, especially amidst purpose-filled trials.